It's been awhile since I've been on here. It's been a crazy week. A crazy month! I've been getting myself prepared for NaNoWriMo, and this year, I'm very determined to finish my novel!
I haven't had much time lately to do any of the writing prompts. With taking care of the kids, the husband, the house, and all the other various things, I've been having a difficult time sitting down for 15 minutes and keeping the flow going. Not a good thing. I'm supposed to be getting my mind and fingers prepared for next month, but not doing so very well.
Here is my last prompt, though. It was done about a week ago. Hoping to have some time to sit down and do a couple tonight, if the kids cooperate. :)
Why Are You Still Here?
The mirror showed that ugly face, yet again this morning. She hated that refection, wished she could somehow get rid of it. The eyes were dark rimmed, the blue color no longer glittered as it once had, in fact, they looked almost grey now. And not the pretty grey the supermodels have, the ugly, stormy sky grey, that always led up to something terrible. Her cheeks were puffed, she could see her double chin growing. Her skin was pale and dry. Yet she didn’t know who she was looking at. She didn’t see herself as everyone else saw her. All she saw was the 40 extra pounds on her small frame, the jiggle on her thighs when she moved even the slightest.
“Why are you still here?” the reflection mocked her. “Why is your fat ass still trying? You know you’re not worth it, everyone knows you’re not. Why are you still trying to fool yourself?”
She wanted to punch that ugly face. She glared at it, and clenched her teeth. She wanted to scream, but couldn’t find the voice to do it with. Her stomach turned, and she tasted the bile rising in her throat. “How can I puke?” she wondered, suddenly. It had been three days since she’d last eaten anything, still she felt like a failure. She turned, just barely making it to the toilet in time. As she clutched the white porcelain, she began to laugh. It felt good to rid her body of… what? There really wasn’t anything to get rid of, but somehow, it felt good. Felt right.
When she was done, she rinsed her face and brushed her teeth, letting the mouthwash burn against her gums and tongue before spitting it out. When she looked up into the mirror again, the refection was the same, only this time, there was a small smile across that ugly face. A smile of approval. Something she’d been longing for, but couldn’t seem to find, until now. She’d found it’s vice. She’d found it’s pleasure button and pushed hard.
She pulled the scale out from under the sink and set it down on the floor. She tapped the corner and stepped on, praying for good news. Something to not take away the feeling she’d found, finally. The lines moved up and down on the little screen for a few seconds before a number popped up. Two ounces were gone. Not a big difference, but a loss. She felt okay, not good, not as good as she had before stepping on the scale, but okay. It would be a decent day, she decided. At least now, she know how to rid herself of the food she did eat to keep up appearances. And she knew how good it felt to do so.
Her mother always insisted on her eating dinner with the family, no matter how she protested, or claimed she’d eaten a big lunch. Even after a few bites, she swore she could feel her skin stretching, the fat collecting, but her mother insisted on her eating “just a few more”.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Welcome/Introduction
Welcome to my writing blog! I'm currently putting my writings aside to prepare for NaNoWriMo 2008. I'm doing the writing prompts when I have a chance. But my main writings are being pushed aside until December.
I will be posting exerpts from my NaNo novel, from time to time, as well as writng promts. So check back.
As for NaNo, my novel is currently titled Faded. And this is the plot:
Good-girl-gone-bad, Alexis, thought she had it all: a best friend who was like the sister she never had, a boyfriend she "knew" she'd be with forever, parents who let her run wild. But all that ended one night at a party, when her best friend died of an overdose. Determined not to let that also be her fate, she cleans herself up, and vows to change her ways. She finds herself building a relationship with the "head jock" of the school. Someone she used to find joy from making fun of. But, when things start to go wrong, Alexis turns back to her old freinds and old ways. Now, she much choose between the same actions that killed her best friend and her new, clean living life.
I will be posting exerpts from my NaNo novel, from time to time, as well as writng promts. So check back.
As for NaNo, my novel is currently titled Faded. And this is the plot:
Good-girl-gone-bad, Alexis, thought she had it all: a best friend who was like the sister she never had, a boyfriend she "knew" she'd be with forever, parents who let her run wild. But all that ended one night at a party, when her best friend died of an overdose. Determined not to let that also be her fate, she cleans herself up, and vows to change her ways. She finds herself building a relationship with the "head jock" of the school. Someone she used to find joy from making fun of. But, when things start to go wrong, Alexis turns back to her old freinds and old ways. Now, she much choose between the same actions that killed her best friend and her new, clean living life.
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